| thank you for the music |
[Apr. 28th, 2009|03:01 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | choir | ] |
| [ | Feeling |
| |  cheerful | ] |
you know, i can't remember when i first started getting into all this music.
i've sung my way through half my life. i first joined choir in primary 2 and it found me back in secondary 1 and in jc i knew right away it was where i belonged. but everytime i think that i'm loving this choir because i enjoy singing those songs and i enjoy the attention and i enjoy people clapping for me afterwards, i realise that's not all. it's not just about me. it's the people that make it so good everytime. and thats what a choir's about isn't it, it's not just about the music, but our music, it's about everyone.
this time around it's going to be my last year singing competitively and with so many amazing people, probably. the people never fail to amaze me, i mean after AUSTRIA last year and the fun and fruitful times we shared with the seniors, we all learned to expect alot from ourselves this year, but sadly this year there've been so many ways in which we've failed, as leaders ourselves, and suddenly all we get out of choir are difficult times, the emotional bashings, the criticism. and suddenly i felt so faraway from this choir because, WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE I AM SINGING WITH NOW? i don't know anyone of them. i don't like anyone of them. i miss the old us that used to be us. i want the beautiful bassy sound and the sparkling tenor sound back, not this strained and difficult sound that now characterise our practices.
it has been very disheartening and i never thought i'd grow so much attachment (or any, at all) to this batch because the juniors were really such foreign people to me and i had alot to get used to. but i guess these things take time and good or bad we're bound to bond, and we found the way back home after practising thrice a week and being incessantly scolded by ms lim, i have to say there's been alot that we've gone through together given the short amount of time the juniors had in this choir. and today as i reviewed 4 months of choir experience in 2009, i realise that i've really grown to love this choir a lot. of course, the SHALTOS will always be number 1 in my heart, but it's not just about them. it's the rest of the comm, the rest of the batch, even the juniors, really everyone. especially when i see the perseverance and vision in every one of them, how can i stand here and look at everyone trying so damn hard and not be moved by them and try even harder myself?? it's an inexplicable sense of belonging that has suddenly manifested itself deep in my heart. and how timely it has come because i know this love is what we need to get us through this obstacle. because hey, the more we get thrashed, the more we get together to overcome this problem, and the better we become, and on 5th may, we'll be our best yet.
if i could, i'd go to each and every one of them and tell them personally how grateful i am to have them here with me today. even the juniors i rarely converse with. even the ones that irritate me sometimes, in the way i've grown so used to that i know i'm going to miss this experience after the 5th may. at the end of the day, it's just the feeling of having something to fight for together, you know? it is so empowering. it gets me through the mundane days at school because at the back of my head theres this hopeful thought that well at the very least i have something to look forward to every other day. of course sometimes we all get tired of it but then it makes it even more worthwhile when we finally get it right. and every single one of them, juniors, batchmates, comm mates, seniors, they give me strength and they give me something to yearn, to look forward to, something to treasure and i don't know what it exactly is but this thing is so powerful and it's taking root in me, and it's amazing because i haven't felt so myself in days. in months, actually. this is my belief, my hope, my prayer now, and in 7 days it will take flight and on stage we will perform the most breathtaking music yet, just like rioHC always does.
7 more days to crunch time, let's not give up cuz for the first time in a long while, it's the most faith i've had in anything at all and that really says alot. let's ignore what everyone else thinks. the ones who find that we're not deserving of the world champion title, the ones that think too highly of us that sometimes give us more stress than we can handle, the only one who would storm in and out of the room throwing hurtful words at us but also the only one who cares enough to do this to us to make us learn. let's just do the thing that we know best to do, the thing that we've sung into our soul for the past 4 months (6, for the j2s), let's just make it work, this time around we'll go all out and i want our voices to really reach out and touch the hearts of so many at SYF because that'd truly be the rioHC sound, the one that has never failed me nor you nor the world out there, the one that is different from the one the year before and will be different from the one the year after, but the one that is still amazing in its very own special way.
<3
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
redlightcity's journal
contemplative
scared